From childhood Chandini had always been scared from the dark. Why was she afraid ? you may ask. The reason could be because of the monsters under her bed, the helplessness accompanying not being able to see clearly or being alone with the voices that tell her that she wasn’t beautiful because of the color of her skin. ‘kali’ (black) they yelled at her and giggled away in their troops of friends. She didn’t really understand how calling someone a color could hurt this much, after all nicknames were the friendship starter pack right?
Maybe if she were fairer(skin tone) she would become prettier and everyone loves pretty so that would be like a free pass to being liked. So it started the liberal use of sun -screen, anti-tan masks, the homemade fairness clay, the” radiance” enhancing food , the decision quit to playing outdoors, the drinking of kilos of water and so on..
The result was this amazing beautiful dusky skin that she had learnt to see as ugly. Then something happened .. no, hold your thoughts it’s not a boy. She decided to take a step back and realize what was wrong… tring-tring it was the perception of “beautiful” that she had believed growing up.
She had grown up believing “white” was beautiful but when she came across outstanding women who were redefining beauty priyanka chopra, deepika padukone, pv sindhu , lisa haydon and many other dusky beauties who showed her that beauty was the strength to dare to achieve something , to apply oneself.
She realized that she wasn’t a commodity that had to fit a certain description to cater to someones liking. She figured that it was important more than anything to be your own person , discover what her interests were music,dance,films, photography , how she could contribute to making a positive difference, developing a sense of personal style and this new found path that redefined beauty for her was self discovery.
Yes sometimes she does go back to her old school of thought when someone makes a snide remark at her or when she reads stories of girls feeling not good enough because of the color of the skin or when someone holds back from engaging in outdoor activities. But then she realizes that she has wasted enough time chasing something so superficial and continues on her self-exploration trip.
Is she afraid of the dark now ? .. you’ll have to ask her in comment section below. 🙂